


Quotation Marks

by ashesandhoney



Category: Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Everyone is a Lady, F/F, Gender or Sex Swap, Lesbian Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Threesome - F/F/F, Victorian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 09:56:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5201582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashesandhoney/pseuds/ashesandhoney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU in which both Jem and Will are women and madly in love. (Chapter 1 is Will/Jem, Chapter 2 is Will/Tessa/Jem)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A note on names and timelines. 
> 
> Firstly, Names: Jem is Jemma because that makes sense. Will is Gwen. William Herondale was named Gwyllim and that is what his family called him (we know that because that's what Cece calls him throughout CP2) so I imagined that Linette Herondale would have given her second child a Welsh name regardless of their gender. So rather than Willow or Willa or Wilhelmina, she called that baby Gwendolyn. Tessa is Tessa because aside from being very gay, she hasn't been changed for this story. 
> 
> Secondly timelines: Chapter 1 of this happens probably 2 years before Chapter 2. Which would mean that if this was running on the canon timeline that Gwen and Jemma originally got together when they were 15. Which makes sense but I - as a person much older than 15 - am not comfortable writing about 15 year olds having sex. So this story begins during Jemma and Gwen's year abroad. Legally adults under Shadowhunter law, somewhere in the ballpark of 18/19 thought I never specify that in the story. They come back to London after spending a year abroad and very together and Tessa arrives a few months after that. 
> 
> Jemma is still sick though if we imagine she got sick much later in her life (say at 16 instead of 11) then the timeline for her not being dead still works or maybe the yin fen in this universe works more slowly and she gets a prognosis of 10 years instead of 5. 
> 
> Whatever. It's smut. I'm not super dedicated to the world-building. Just throwing it out there.

They slept together more nights than they slept alone. Curled around each other. Comfortable and close and warm. Gwen had run away from home, knowing she could never go back and she'd found this instead. This was more deeply home, more utterly home than any place she had ever known. She grabbed hold of Jemma around the waist and pulled her closer so they were closer together. Jemma made a soft noise of protest then adjusted herself so she fit against Gwen's body.

Nestled together like quotation marks on a page.

Jemma was the quotation mark around every good thing in her life and Gwen had long since given up pretending it was otherwise. This was her favourite time of day. Wrapped up in each other and far away from everything and everyone else. There was a real world out there somewhere. People would whisper of Jemma's addiction. People would take a step back from Gwen and offer her suggestions on how to fix her behaviour and land a husband. She didn’t care for any of it. 

There were good things out there as well. Nothing so good as this but things that made the world worth living in. A new bookshop had just opened. Gwen's new trousers had come in and she was one step closer to being able to walk in London without people noticing that she was a girl. The clothes had to be cut carefully to make it possible and finding a tailor who would do it had been more difficult than any battle she’d ever been in. She had crossed some line at fifteen and woken up with a woman's body. It had happened all at once. From tall skinny girl who could easily play the part of a boy to this soft curvy oh so undisguisedly feminine body. Training didn't change it. She could lay on muscle for years and never do anything to reduce the flare of hips or the annoying prominence of breasts.

Jemma was narrow and smaller. Angles and edges and features that made people pull out words like dainty. The word dainty was one of the few things that could make Jemma frown at someone. Even still, she could have passed for a boy and she never tried to. She never bothered. She didn’t seem to find being a girl as frustrating as Gwen did. She wore gear or plain pretty dresses.  

"You're the nice one," Gwen whispered to her.

Jemma's hair was plaited and tied so it didn't spread across everything like a silver river. Gwen pushed the plait to the side and nuzzled her neck. She came to rest with her mouth pressed against skin. This wasn't a kiss.

Just lying together. 

Innocent as children.

And if something curled warm and low in Gwen's stomach when she was this close to her parabatai, she ignored it. She was very good at ignoring it. She slid her face up from Jemma's neck to her ear without lifting her mouth. Not a kiss. Just the feel of skin below her lips. 

Jemma shifted, tilting her head back to make more space for Gwen but not waking up. Gwen resisted the desire to slide back down. She was pushing up against the borderline of acceptable already. She didn't pull back but she didn't do more.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Jemma asked, her voice soft.

"No, why would you ask that?" Gwen asked without pulling away. Her mouth moved against Jemma's throat. She was vividly aware of every detail from the smell of Jemma’s skin to the way the muscles of her throat moved. But it wasn’t a kiss. 

"Because you're holding on awful tight," Jemma said.

"And I need a reason?" Gwen said.

Jemma rolled over and Gwen barely contained a squeak of surprise. She was not the type of person to squeak. She was far too dignified for that. Jemma was right there. Nose to nose and she wrapped an arm around Gwen and cuddled in close. It was always the details. The details undid her. If she didn't think about the details she would be fine. Details were distracting. Jemma was frowning just the littlest bit and her hand had come to rest at the small of Gwen's back and she'd thrown her knee over Gwen's and her skin was so warm.

"I can tell that you aren't feeling well but if you don't want to talk about it, I will leave it," she said.

"Leave it," Gwen said.

"Very well," Jemma said.

She didn't move away for which Gwen was deeply grateful. Jemma reached up and started playing with her hair. Her curls had refused to stay braided and they spilled out under Jemma's fingers. She was trapped. Trapped by Jemma's nearness and her hands. She combed through the curls with her fingers, pushing them back from Gwen's face and winding them through her fingers.

It was wonderful.

It was terrifying. 

Her face was right there and she was Jemma. She noticed everything and she was going to notice the look on Gwen's face. So she closed her eyes and ducked her face down against Jemma's throat and pressed her mouth back against skin. Not a kiss. Never a kiss. But with her face hidden like this she didn't have to worry if her expression was acceptable. Jemma didn't stop. She ran her fingers back through Gwen's hair and held her close.

Gwen had hiked up Jemma's night gown in all the twisting and cuddling. When her hand accidentally found skin, she didn't pull back. She ran a hand from just above Jemma's knee towards her waist. The skin of her thigh was soft and warm and under the silk of it, muscles moved. Jemma hooked her knee tighter and Gwen pushed her hand higher. She liked the feel of Jemma's muscles tightening under her hand as she traced the shape of them.

"Gwen?" Jemma said. Her hands had stopped, her voice was soft.

"Yes?" Gwen's voice came out wrong, breathy and needy. She didn't even know what she wanted but she wanted it with a strength that was overpowering.

"What do you want?" Jemma asked after a long pause.

"You," Gwen said and her voice wasn't any more normal. She had lost any semblance of reason in all the touching. She couldn't say things like that. She couldn't say things like that especially while her hand was almost to Jemma's hip and her blood was boiling. Jemma was so close, the world smelled like her. Sweet and bitter and good. She smelled like goodness. Gwen exhaled, pushing all the air out of her lungs before she pulled in that scent as deeply as she could.

Then she drew back to face the ridiculous things she had said.  
Jemma looked at her. Her hands had loosened in Gwen's hair but she hadn't pulled away. Gwen could barely see her in the dark and it hid her expression. The desire to turn up the witchlights hit her. She didn't want to be seen but she didn't want to miss being able to see Jemma like this. Gwen had laid her back against the pillows with her thigh pushed up and wide and held in place.

"Gwen," Jemma said again and Gwen looked back to her face instead of imagining what the details of her body would look like in better light, with less clothing.

"My thoughts might not be particularly pure," Gwen said.

Jemma's hands were no longer tangled in Gwen's hair and instead she cupped Gwen's face in them. Long fingered hands. Callouses on her palms from years of weapons training. Gentle and warm. Gwen tried reminding herself that they were just hands. They were hands she had known ever day for years, reassuring and familiar. They were lighting up fires along Gwen's skin and her own fingers tightened without a conscious thought. Her fingers tightened on Jemma's thigh, pulling their bodies closer.

Jemma didn't answer her.

Not with words.

Jemma leaned in and kissed her. 

Pulled her face down and pressed their mouths together. 

Gwen had been kissed. Gwen had made something of a habit of being kissed and then breaking the poor boy's heart. She had never been kissed like this. This wasn't a game or a challenge. This was so much more. This was Jemma's mouth and she was smaller and more curious than any boy was. Gwen pushed in closer and Jemma rolled flat onto her back so that Gwen could lie against her.

Jemma's tongue slid along Gwen's lower lip making her shiver down to her toes and press every part of herself closer. Jemma didn't kiss with intention. She moved her mouth, exploring and coaxing reactions out of Gwen that she had never let her guard down far enough to enjoy. Or maybe she had never enjoyed a kiss this much before.

She pulled back from Jemma's mouth and moved down her body. An actual kiss in those places she'd only thought about. Behind her ear, down her throat, along her collar bone before it disappeared into the nightdress then back up again. Jemma squirmed below her as she did it. Pressing her hips up and spreading her knees a little wider so that Gwen could lie between them. Her head fell back as Gwen pressed kisses and then got brave enough to lick at the skin there and find out what it tasted like.

Sensation and desire and Jemma playing with her hair.

Gwen's hands went in search of skin. She was very carefully not thinking. There was a corner of her mind that was roaring with misgivings but she ignored it as her hand ran up and down Jemma's leg. She had bent it up so that it was easier to reach and Gwen could trace the line of it from ankle to hip without having to reach. 

"If you were a man, this would be a hell of a scandal," Jemma said. 

Gwen froze and drew back. She stared down at Jemma who was smiling. She had laced her fingers together at the back of Gwen's neck so that Gwen couldn't escape too far. She didn't try to. She stayed close but she let those thoughts in. She was between Jemma's legs. One of Jemma's ankles was at sitting at the base of her spine because she'd wrapped her legs around Gwen's body. Their stomachs were together and Gwen wasn't entirely sure whose heartbeat she could hear pounding like a drum. 

"I think this might be less of a scandal if I were a man," Gwen said. 

"We'll just have to make sure that no one notices," Jemma said and she pulled a little. Gwen held herself up, straightening her arms and fighting against that draw. It wasn't just the pull. It was Jemma. She wanted to be closer. Wanted so much it hurt. She kept herself still against every screaming instinct that wanted the nearness back. 

"Oh," Jemma said at the first sign of resistance. She dropped her hands, untangled her legs and started to pull away. 

Gwen panicked. 

"No, no, that's not what I meant," Gwen said reaching for her and catching her around the waist before she could get too far away. Jemma collapsed back into her, fell back into place and raised her eyebrows in a silent question. 

"What do you want from me?" Gwen asked. 

"Nothing you aren't willing to give," Jemma said. 

"Don't be cryptic," Gwen said. 

"I want you to come back down here and let me touch your legs the way your were doing to me a moment ago," Jemma said with a shy smile that didn't hide the look in her eyes. The look in her eyes was going to kill Gwen. Her heart was just going to give out under the force of it. Mischievous and unwavering and conspiratorial, like they were sharing a wonderful secret. 

Gwen gave in and turned up the lights. The prospect of missing a single smile was too horrible to consider. She would rather be seen dong something embarrassing than miss Jemma looking at her like that. 

"If that is truly what you want," Gwen said and her voice didn't quite come out blithe. She had intended it to. Flippant and unbothered, like this was nothing. But this wasn't some love struck boy at a party, this was Jemma. Beautiful and familiar and grinning. Gwen was loosing every fragment of mysterious and confident she had carefully cobbled together over the years. They simply blew away at the sight of Jemma's smile. 

"It is what I want, roll over," Jemma laughed. 

Gwen did as she was told, flipping onto her back with a dramatic sigh. 

"You're so hard done to, aren't you?" Jemma said, "You poor little thing." 

"Are you going to kiss away all my troubles?" Gwen asked. 

"Yes," Jemma said and instead of answering it with another joke, she leaned down and pressed her mouth to Gwen's again. It was only gentle for a second. For all Jemma seemed carefully controlled, she kissed like she was drowning. Gwen pulled her in, held on and tried to keep pace. 

Jemma pulled back and she was flushed, pink stain across her lips, across her cheeks and her chest. She was also straddling Gwen. Gwen was still between her knees. It was a different kind of thrilling from this angle, to be able to look up at that narrow body rising over her. A few pieces of Jemma's hair had come loose and one of them stuck to the side of her face. 

Gwen's mouth opened and she managed to switch to Welsh before she said it aloud, "Ti'n brydferth."

"What does that mean?" Jemma asked. 

"Nothing," she said closing her eyes. 

"Tell me," Jemma was closer. Gwen felt her bend down, felt her nearness. She didn't open her eyes. 

"Doesn't matter," Gwen said. 

"Tell me or I will sit on you all night and refuse to let you up," Jemma said. 

"I might like that, I'll talk at you in Welsh and fall asleep here," Gwen said. 

"No," Jemma said. 

"Rwy'n dy garu di. Mae fy hofrenfad yn llawn llyswennod. Does dim byd yna i weld yno," Gwen said. 

"Stop it, you are a mad woman," Jemma was laughing at her and trying to clamp a hand over her mouth and stop the stream of nonsense. She was saying more and more ridiculous things as she kept talking and laughing as it devolved into wrestling and giggling. 

"You're beautiful," Gwen finally said in English once Jemma had pinned her down and was trying to glare through a smile she couldn't seem to stop. 

"So are you," Jemma said in a very soft voice, "Far more so than I am." 

"True, I am atrociously attractive, men have crashed their ships into rocks for the chance to see my face. The face that launched a thousand ships is nothing but a pale shadow when compared to my beauty," Gwen said. 

"And so humble," Jemma said. 

"Incredibly humble, why, I might be considered for Sainthood," Gwen said. 

Jemma laughed and rolled off to the side. They still lay tangled together. She reached out and traced Gwen's face with a single finger until they'd both stopped giggling. Then she pushed Gwen gently back down into the pillows and climbed back up over her. Gwen watched her. She carefully gathered up Gwen's night dress and pushed it high up on her thighs. Even though she knew it was coming, she still gasped at the touch of hands on her legs. 

Delicate and narrow and so warm. They found started at Gwen's knees and then pushed higher. Gwen had stopped when she had reached Jemma's hips. Jemma' didn't stop, she pushed up to Gwen's stomach and didn't come to stop until her hands were resting on either side of Gwen's ribs, just below her breasts. Her mouth had fallen open and her eyes shut during the slow process, the slow slide of hands up her body. 

Jemma paused but didn't stop, her hands slid up again, cupping and squeezing just enough to make Gwen gasp. She had never particularly thought about her breasts beyond how to hide them in a suit and how to flaunt them in a dress. They were just there. Jemma held them and they felt different though Gwen was too lost to say why. She arched her back and helped Jemma push her night gown away so that she lay there naked. 

Gwen would have reached to cover herself in the fit of self-consciousness that followed but Jemma's hand were there first. Cupping her breasts and leaning down so that Gwen's body was covered if anyone else had walked in.

"Look at me," Gwen said and Jemma raised her head to meet her eyes.

It helped with the self consciousness. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so bare but then, she couldn't remember the last time that she had been completely naked in anyone's presence. She even waited until the maid had left before getting in the bath. Holding Jemma's gaze, she didn't care so much. She didn't feel the need to categorize out her body. She wouldn't have to ask if piece was capable of being a weapon or if that piece was not. It just was.

With Jemma, she could just exist. 

"Kiss me?" she asked and didn't bother to try and hide the neediness in her voice. 

Jemma smiled and did as she was asked. Sliding up, the lace of her nightgown dragging against Gwen's skin, and kissing her more gently than she had before. Her hands though, didn't stop, they ran over Gwen's body until she was the one tightening her fingers and kissing harder. Jemma matched her and her hands got rougher as well, squeezing and rubbing, holding on and pushing her down. 

Gwen fumbled as she pulled Jemma's nightdress up but she made herself understood. Jemma pulled it off and threw it over the edge of the bed in one movement. Before Gwen could get a good look at her, she dropped back down into the kiss. Their bodies moved together and the feel of that much skin pressed into her was unlike anything she had imagined. 

The things men and women did in the dark were not a mystery. Not really. She had never done any of them but she had a pretty good grasp of what they were. The descriptions she had heard hadn't exactly left her wanting to try it. She hadn't ever considered being naked in bed with a woman. She certainly hadn't imagined that it would be like this. 

She hadn't expected the thing that she would feel while naked and so close to another person would be safe. 

But she did. She felt utterly safe. Her back against the mattress, her hands running up over the ridges of Jemma's spine, a mouth on hers, and soft skin pressed into every piece of her. This was where she needed to be. 

"I heard about something once, in a place where good girls aren't meant to be, I want to try," Gwen said. 

"Sounds like a bad idea," Jemma said into her mouth. 

"Try it with me," Gwen said, "Lie on your back, spread your legs and let me touch you."

"I do like it when you touch me," Jemma said and her voice was as happy and dreamy as Gwen felt. 

She rolled over and Gwen rolled with her. They settled in, Jemma on her back and Gwen lying beside her. Her one arm was wrapped around Jemma's neck. The other stroked down her stomach and then lower. Jemma didn't look away from her. Didn't look down. Didn't look away. Gwen pulled her closer so their foreheads touched. 

"May I?" she asked. 

"Yes, whatever it is, yes," Jemma said. 

Gwen kept their faces pressed together and as much of her body touched Jemma's as she could manage. She reached down until she found wet skin and stroked it. Jemma gasped and Gwen smiled as she explored. This close, she could watch every reaction. It took some experimentation. Rubbing slow circles in places too low or just not quite right until she found it. Jemma didn't gasp this time. She moaned. 

Gwen rubbed and held her close. Her face flushed again, deeper pink than before and Gwen kissed her cheeks. Jemma twisted her hips and her fingers tightened in Gwen's hair so hard it hurt but it didn't occur to her to stop until Jemma cried out and pushed her hand away. She felt Jemma's muscles tense and her back arch as she gasped. 

Gwen panicked all over again. 

"Jemmy, I'm sorry, I didn't know it would hurt, I'm so sorry, please, look at me," she said and she caught Jemma's face with her hand and turned it up. Her fingers were wet and she left a smear of it on Jemma's cheek but neither of them cared. Jemma stared at her, open mouthed and breathless for a moment but instead of pushing her off or pulling away, she pulled her into a kiss. Hard. Jemma pulled her down over her and kissed her.

"Didn't hurt," Jemma finally said but she didn't pull away, she spoke with her mouth pressed into Gwen's. 

"You screamed," Gwen said. 

"I didn't," Jemma said. 

"Liar, I heard it," Gwen said. 

"I might have but wasn't because it hurt. I swear that to you. Here, let me do it to you, it doesn't hurt," Jemma said rolling them over so that Gwen was on her back. 

She would have protested if it had been anyone else in the world but it wasn't anyone else. For Jemma she lay back and spread her knees and believed her when she said it didn't hurt. The start didn't hurt. The start was gentle and made her flinch a little only because it was someone's hand in places she'd barely touched herself. She bit her lip and pressed her face into Jemma and gave up everything. Jemma asked for nothing but if she had, if she'd asked for a dance on the face of the moon, Gwen would have done it. 

The slow circling of fingers was nice but the pressure started to build almost immediately. Gwen made a soft noise, involuntary, a groan followed by a gasp as Jemma pushed down harder. It didn't hurt but the sensation was more than anything else she had ever experienced. Not just touch but something larger brought on by that touch. She could feel her body getting wetter and her temperature rising and her heart rate stuttering. It was everywhere and she needed something.

She pressed closer to Jemma, burying her face into Jemma's neck and grabbing hold of her. Need. Desire. Heat. Her body was narrowing down. She was sensation and little else. Jemma's voice was soft in her ear, speaking in Chinese, encouraging and reassurring but incomprehensible in the state she was in. Jemma went faster, rubbing hard and fast. 

The pressure broke. 

Jemma hadn't truly screamed but Gwen did. She twisted but Jemma didn't let her go right away. She held her there, in that place just beyond the relief of release where that feeling of being built up to a crescendo didn't recede until Jemma let go of her. 

She came down gasping. Overwhelmed. She had been right. It didn't hurt. 

"Mmm?" Jemma asked. 

"Doesn't hurt," Gwen agreed.

"Again?" Jemma said. 

"Me or you?" Gwen asked. 

"Both," Jemma said. 

It took some arranging, to get them both close enough. Gwen refused to accept any position that didn't allow her to press in close. Once they'd managed to arrange their legs enough to allow it, they were both laughing again. Gwen kissed Jemma's neck from shoulder to ear as she waited for the giggles to subside. Jemma's hand was already between her legs and just the brush of fingers made her stomach clench. 

They tried to do it together but Jemma got distracted and Gwen was still too close to her first release for it to work as seamlessly as they'd intended. The second release hit Gwen hard, arching her back and making her shudder. Jemma didn't move her hand though she gentled. Stroking but not rubbing as Gwen tried to focus on bringing her over that edge as well. 

When she finally managed it, when Jemma finally groaned and pushed her hips down against Gwen's hand, she tightened her fingers and rubbed back. She groaned and twisted but still managed to pull Gwen along with her. Fingers hard enough to make Gwen's sensitive skin protest but not so hard that she wanted it to stop. She felt Jemma's release more than saw it because she couldn't keep her eyes open. 

They collapsed together. Warm and close and tangled. Gwen nuzzled and Jemma kissed and it didn't really matter which parts they could reach. They lay like that until they fell asleep, neither of them willing to be the first one to get up. 

Cuddled close like quotation marks on a page, a matched set holding everything good between them. 


	2. Chapter 2

Tessa woke herself up screaming. In the aftermath of the nightmare, sitting up in bed, breathing hard, she couldn't even remember what the dream had been about. She was shaking but no matter how much she wracked her brains, no detail would come back to her. It was a shattered mirror. Broken painful shards but no image.

She woke Jemma with the screaming. 

She came through the door a moment after Tessa had gotten her breath back with a blade in hand and concern on her face. She was pale and ghostly in the dark but beautiful. Her hair was loose, long and silver and shimmering and her eyes caught a sheen of light from the window and almost glowed for a moment. Ethereal. That was the word for her. Ethereal and armed with a blade half as long as she was tall. Just seeing her standing there in a night gown with a sword in hand made Tessa feel ridiculous. She pried her fingers loose from the bed covers and tried to force a smile.

"I had a bad dream," she said shaking her head. 

"Oh," Jemma said lowering the weapon. 

Jemma crossed the room and put the sword up on the bed. She sat down beside Tessa to push the loose bits of her hair back. She tilted Tessa's face up with a finger under her chin and Tessa looked up into those silver eyes. Her face was thin and no one detail was particularly pretty but taken together, her face was striking. Every time Tessa looked at her, she found another detail that was more  beautiful than the one before. Just having her near was enough to chip away at the worst of Tessa's fear. 

"You're shaking, come here," she said and she pulled Tessa into a hug. Jemma was always reserved. Kind but Tessa hadn't expected her to be the sort to offer hugs. Tessa didn't question it. It had been so long since she had had someone to pet her hair after a bad dream. She just held on and let the rest of the fear fade. She wasn't shaking any more but she kept her cheek on Jemma's shoulder and waited for the other girl to let go first. 

She didn't. 

"Do you want me to stay for a little while?" Jemma asked. 

Tessa just nodded and Jemma slid into the bed with her and settled down beside her. Tessa struggled with the blankets for a moment, trying to lie them flat again after the mess she had made of them. Jemma laughed and her voice was right behind Tessa's ear. She shivered though she was warm. Jemma didn't notice it as she helped pull the blankets down around them. 

Tessa fell asleep again with Jemma's warmth at her back, arm around her waist and breath just below her ear. Jemma was thin and delicate but still made her feel safe. Half asleep she cuddled closer and Jemma wrapped her arm more tightly around her waist. 

She woke up later to voices but didn't open her eyes right away. She heard Jemma first and Jemma was still there, close and warm so Tessa stayed where she was. 

"She had a bad dream," Jemma said. 

"I see," Gwen's voice said and Tessa forced herself to keep her eyes shut. 

She didn't want to face Gwen. Not here, not like this. At the party at the Lightwood house, after she had lost the change and Gwen had dragged her out onto the balcony to try and figure out what was wrong with her. There had a been a kiss. Gwen had held her face and kissed her so gently that Tessa had thought she might faint or cry. Then she kissed her harder, hands wandering, grabbing and pulling and Tessa had pushed her back against the railing of the balcony and kissed her back.

It hadn’t been like anything she’d imagined before.

But they had been drunk and Gwen had been thoroughly disgusted by the entire thing the next morning and Tessa had avoided her ever since. They hadn't said more than two words to each other and Tessa had made sure they weren't in the same room for long and never alone. Now here she was standing over her with that tone in her voice. She was about to tell Jemma to stay away because there was something wrong with Tessa and Tessa liked to kiss women and probably wasn't safe to be sharing a bed with. 

"It's not like that but if it bothers you, I won't," Jemma said and she started to get up. 

Tessa's heart didn't have time to break. She didn't let herself dwell on why it felt like it was about to. 

"No, it doesn't matter," Gwen said. 

"It does matter, Gwendolyn," Jemma said but she still hadn't done more than sit up in Tessa's bed. She pulled away and sat up on her knees and Tessa could imagine her reaching for Gwen to try and calm down that trickle of anger in her voice. Jemma kept her voice soft, little more than a whisper, "You're jealous and I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." 

"I kissed her," Gwen said. 

"What?" Jemma's voice lost that gentleness, not louder but not as soft somehow. 

"At the Lightwood party, we had drunk something or I wouldn't have. I kissed her and now I can't get her out of my head," Gwen said. 

"Oh," Jemma said. "That's why the two of you won't stay in the same room for more than five minutes without getting surly and snappy. You could have told me." 

"No," Gwen said. 

"You could have told me," Jemma insisted and her voice had gone gentle again. Tessa finally opened her eyes and looked up at them. Gwen was wearing men's clothing; she had been out in the city somewhere. Jemma held her face in her hands and her skin was so much paler. Neither of them were looking down. They leaned into each other and Jemma kissed her. Pulled Gwen close and kissed her softly. Tessa's body tightened in surprise and she couldn't stop the small embarrassed noise from escaping as she rolled onto her stomach and didn't watch. 

Her movement pulled their attention. 

"Tess?" Gwen said and it was the first time she had said her name since the balcony and it pulled open something Tessa thought she had slammed shut. Her heart beat faster. She needed to be somewhere else. She pulled away, clumsy but careful not to touch either of them in the dark. She slid off the bed. She was apologizing but not sure what she was saying. 

Gwen followed her, moving faster than she could and grabbing her wrist to spin her back around before she could make it to the door. Suddenly the embarrassment became seething anger. She wasn't sure why it happened or how, only that she was suddenly furious. She pushed back against Gwen who let her go and stumbled back a step. 

"Is this some sort of game? Are you mocking me?" she asked. 

"Tessa, no, never," Jemma was up off the bed now, coming towards her as well and that was worse. She was used to being angry at Gwen. Gwen hurt. Just looking at Gwen hurt. Jemma had been her safety. Jemma had been kind and easy and a friend in this place. Now that was broken too. That Jemma and Gwen were a complete unit, a matched pair, together against the world was something she'd known since she'd first seen them together. To think that she could have a place with either of them was ridiculous. To be hurt that they would choose each other over every other person was absurd.  

It still hurt but with the realization, her anger drained. 

She pulled in a shaky breath. 

Jemma grabbed one of her hands and pulled her in a little closer. Her heart was breaking. This wasn't how it was meant to work. She shouldn't be this close to crying. They could still be friends. They were still friends. Nothing had happened, nothing had changed. It wasn't ever a possibility. She wasn't supposed to be falling in love with a girl. She couldn't possibly have fallen in love with two of them. Her heart ignored every single bit of logic she threw at it. 

"I think there's something wrong with me," she said out loud. 

"There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing at all. I promise," Jemma said and she was close enough to touch Tessa's cheek. She looked at Gwen before she did. When Gwen gave her some sort of answer Tessa couldn't see, her palm, warm and calloused from handling weapons all her life, came to rest on Tessa's cheek. 

"I've always been pretty sure there's something wrong with me," Gwen said. 

"Hush," Jemma said glancing over at her.  

"You've always had those feelings?" Tessa asked. 

"No, maybe, I've always felt that way for Jem here," Gwen said. It was frank and simple. She said it like she had never doubted it. She laughed, "You're the only other girl I've ever kissed. I don't know that that would match up with Henry's standards for a scientific conclusion." 

Tessa's cheeks got hot and she looked away from Gwen. Gwen who didn't seem bothered as she leaned against the door frame beside her and crossed her arms. Gwen was not blushing or stammering. Tessa couldn’t look at her. She turned her attention back to Jemma because Jemma was a different kind of calm. Reassuring while Gwen was standing there being infuriating. 

"Your emotions are what they are, Tessa, you can't control them. You can manage them but you can't control them. There is nothing wrong with you. You needn't feel ashamed," Jemma said. 

"I should still go," Tessa said. 

"This is your room, you should really be kicking us out," Gwen said. 

Tessa shot her a dark look. She had taken off her hat and was shaking her hair out of the tight braid she had put it in to hide it away. Dark tumbling curls all around her face and a little sardonic smile. Tessa's heart tried to cut out again. She wanted to touch that hair. She wanted it so badly that her fingers itched. She tried looking back at Jemma but Jemma was still close and concerned. All her attention was on Tessa and it had weight. 

She curled her fingers into fists because otherwise she was going to reach out and touch Jemma's skin instead. 

She closed her eyes. She was losing her grip on reality. 

She had stupid rebellious hands. 

Gwen said something in Chinese and Tessa's eyes flew open. Jemma was looking at her. Frowning. But Gwen pushed on, talking fast. Tessa couldn't make sense of a single word. Jemma answered her and then they were arguing. Back and forth, fast and intense. Jemma was still holding Tessa. Her hand was still against her though it had slid from her cheek to her neck which was not making it any easier to focus or breathe. 

"What are you talking about?" Tessa asked, "What did you say?"

"I asked her if we could keep you. Like a stray kitten," Gwen said. 

Jemma sighed as though that was embarrassing but expected behaviour. 

"I'm a stray cat?" Tessa was confused now. She drew herself up to her full height as Gwen leaned in and rested an arm around Jemma's shoulder. Gwen gave her that smile again and she frowned. This wasn't mocking. She didn't know what this smile was. Tilted and curious and warm and infuriatingly confident.

"Lost out in the cold, poor little thing," Gwen said, "Do you want to come home?" 

"What are you talking about?" Tessa said. 

"She's attempting to invite you to bed," Jemma said shooting a look at Gwen who didn't look back. She was looking at Tessa like she was something to eat. Her skin prickled under that look. She dragged her eyes away from Gwen to look at Jemma who hadn’t let go. Her thin fingers still lay against Tessa’s pulse. 

"To bed," she said stupidly. 

"Do you want to be seduced Miss Gray?" Gwen was closer now and when Tessa looked back at her, her smile had softened. She looked different. No defenses. No sarcasm, no tilting infuriating grin. Her eyes were wide and she was looking a question at her. The words had been almost vulgar but her expression was sweet and Tessa's head spun. 

"I like you," Jemma said and for a moment Tessa thought she had come to the rescue, come to say something that would stop the spinning and calm everything down. But instead Jemma got closer as she spoke so Tessa could feel her body, "I am happy to be your friend, Tessa. I care about you and would not want you to do anything you're not comfortable with but if you wanted, you're welcome to join us."

Tessa looked at her, her mouth open like she was about to say something but she didn't know what to say. Her hand came up and she touched Jemma's face then slid her hand down to her neck to feel her pounding pulse. Jemma leaned in and kissed her. She hadn't meant it as an invitation but she didn’t push her back. Tessa froze for a second before she matched the kiss. Jemma surprised her by being the one to push in, to press her back against the wall with their hips pressed together and a hand on Tessa's waist.

Tessa moved her mouth, feeling clumsy and lost but not enough of either to want to stop. She could feel Jemma pressed along the line of her body and they weren't dressed. There was nothing but nightgowns between them and Tessa could feel the shape of this girl pressed in against her body. She wrapped her arm around Jemma's back and pulled her closer as though she could imprint this narrow body on hers.  

"Is that a yes then, Tess?" Gwen's voice was beside her ear and it pulled her back. Jemma didn't step back. They were pressed together. Tessa pinned between the wall and her body. They both turned to look at Gwen and Tessa reached up and let her fingers sink into her hair. She smiled and leaned in for a kiss that was softer than what Jemma had just done to her.

"Yes," Tessa said before all her anxious worries of what she was allowed to want could catch up. 

Jemma laughed and it pulled Tessa back to the moment. Not the sensations or the swirl of emotions inside her but the actual moment. She looked back at Jemma not as something she wasn't allowed to have but as a person. Jemma with her violin and her sunrise smiles. Not the idea of a girl. A person. This specific girl. Tessa kissed her again. She hoped she managed to pour all her feelings into it.

Gwen was closer now. Her hand in Tessa's hair as she kissed Jemma. Tessa pulled back from the kiss. 

"Are you going to hate me tomorrow?" she asked Gwen, "Because if this is going to make the glaring and disappearing worse, I don't want it."

"I won't leave you," Gwen said pressing her forehead against Tessa's, "I had done wrong. I shouldn't have kissed you. I am Jemma's. I belong to her: body, heart, and soul.  I was angry but I was not angry with you. I'm sorry to have taken it out on you. You come into a room and I want to touch you and I can't feel like that because you are not mine." 

"And this is different?" Tessa asked. 

"You're not mine but you could be ours," Gwen said. 

Tessa looked between them for a moment before she was able to speak. The words came out almost of their own volition but she didn't doubt that they were true: "I can be yours. I can belong to you both. If you want me." 

"Yes," Jemma said. 

"Absolutely," Gwen said. 

They pulled her down into bed and pushed her onto her back. Someone's mouth was on hers. Jemma pulled away and Gwen took her place. Gwen's hand slid up her leg, she thought it was Gwen's because it was gentler. Gwen's softness surprised her. Her hand slid up from Tessa's calf to her knee and then higher and she gasped. Jemma's tongue slid into her open mouth and the feel of it against her own was more than she could process but she didn't want it to stop. 

When Jemma pulled away and Tessa leaned up, wanting the kiss back, looking for Gwen. Gwen had leaned back in and was kissing Jemma instead and Tessa watched them. She rolled in closer to Jemma to touch her while she kissed Gwen. Tessa stroked Jemma's waist and her stomach until she pressed into Tessa's hands. It felt like a dangerous power to be able to pull reactions from another person like this. 

When they pulled apart, there was a moment where they just stared at each other. Then their attention fell back to Tessa. Tessa fell back against the blankets and giggled. Jemma looked down at her and her attention slid over Tessa's body as intimate as if it was her hand. Tessa wanted to pull her nightgown down. Her legs were bare to her thighs and she hadn't realized how lewd that was. 

Gwen got close, gathered her up and whispered in her ear, “You are so so beautiful.”

It was enough to distract her from the potential embarrassment of being undressed or unprepared. Gwen lay against her side, mouth beside her ear. Tessa leaned into the comforting little touches. She'd always imagined Gwen's friendship to be a prickly thing. A defense against everyone else perhaps but even from the inside, she had expected it to be full of sarcastic comments and little battles and rough edges. 

She had not expected this kind of kindness and gentleness. She had not expected fingers in her hair and lips against her ear. Gwen was curves and classical beauty. She was too intense to be the English Rose of a novel waiting for her hero. She was her own hero and wasn't prepared to be anything less. That didn't mean she wasn't beautiful. Black hair and blue eyes and ever feature perfect as a doll's. 

Jemma had her hand on Tessa's stomach, right below her navel and was stroking it in slow slow circles while Tessa tried to make sense of why that sensation was pulling on ever nerve in her body. She looked at Gwen who gave her a dreamy smile. Gwen reached over her to play with Jemma's hair. 

They started another conversation in Chinese. Softer but no more comprehensible than the first one.

"Stop it," Tessa said dropping her head back to the pillow and frowning. 

"Stop?" Gwen asked. 

"I don't understand a word you're saying. Stop talking over me like I'm not here," she said. 

"What do you want to do?" Jemma asked. 

"Speak English?" Tessa said. 

Gwen laughed and it had a little bit of her sarcasm in it. Tessa pushed herself up and glared at her. She was lying back, still dressed like a boy though her hair was everywhere. She was smiling up at Tessa and it wasn't a mean look. It was fond. Like Tessa had done something endearing. She huffed and glared again and Gwen reached out and grabbed her nightgown by the collar. She pulled her back down into the bed. 

Tessa gasped but didn’t fight her. 

"We were discussing you and whether or not we are despoiling your innocence," Gwen said. 

"And you don't think that is a conversation that might include me?" Tessa said as Gwen pulled her close and caught her face in one hand. Jemma lay down behind Gwen and leaned over her shoulder to watch the conversation though she was quiet. She propped her chin up on one hand and let the other trail along Gwen's hip and then she reached out and did the same to Tessa. Idle and electric all at once. 

"She has a point," Jemma said. 

"Very well," Gwen said, "Miss Gray, might my companion and I despoil your innocence?"

Jemma laughed at the formal tone and Gwen grinned as well but didn't look away from Tessa. 

"I don't even know what that might mean in this," she waved a hand as though she could pull the word from the air. Nothing came so she went with, "Situation," though it didn't feel quite like what she wanted to say. 

"Would you like to watch me do it to Gwen to first, then you can decide how much free reign you want to give us over your body," Jemma said. 

"No, you first," Gwen said. 

"I disagree, you smell like London fog, you need to take off that ridiculous outfit and if you're going to be disrobed, we may as well make the best of it," Jemma said. 

"Is it bad to go first?" Tessa asked. 

"No," Gwen said. 

"She falls to pieces when she reaches her release. Sometimes I can make her cry. She likes to pretend she's tough, especially for you. Everything you've done over the last months finally makes sense," she said this last part to Gwen who huffed. 

"What do you mean everything I've done. Don't be ridiculous. And I don't cry," Gwen said. 

"No, angel, never, not you. You never posture for the pretty new girl or pretend to be tough and brave while secretly all you want is to coo over baby kittens and cuddle" Jemma said stroking her face. 

Gwen shoved her and she fell over. Jemma fell right off the bed with a thump and then a peel of laughter. Tessa sat up and leaned over Gwen to check on her and she was lying on her back, her night gown tangled up above her knees as she laughed. She was pale against the dark wood of the floor. Gwen flung out over the edge of the bed without looking. Jemma took it. 

Rather than using it to pull herself up, she yanked Gwen down, pulling her onto the floor with another laugh and a tirade of muffled swearing. They shoved and laughed and fought their way to their feet. Jemma grabbed Gwen by the lapels and pulled her in for a kiss which ended the fight. 

Then she started taking off Gwen's clothing. 

First the jacket, then the buttons on the shirt. She dropped each piece onto the chair by the bed as she finished with it. Methodical and uncomplicated. Jemma smiled through the whole process and Tessa drew in closer. A part of her thought this was too private for her to intrude on but they had invited her so she didn’t fight the force of her desire.

“Come on, darling,” Gwen said.

Jemma reached out and grabbed Tessa’s hand, pulling her in and she stepped down off the bed to stand with them. Her heart was in her throat. Hammering. It wasn't fear. It was an electric kind of nerves that shot through her whole body. Gwen's eyes jumped from Jemma to her and they were almost wary. Tessa didn't know what to say to that look. Gwen was fearless. Gwen did not flinch and she certainly didn't look at Tessa like she was afraid of failing some judgment. 

She let her eyes wander down. Jemma had pushed the shirt open and Gwen's body was bare below it. Tessa didn't know what men wore under their shirts but it seemed indecent to wear so little. Everything about Gwen and her unbuttoned shirt was indecent. Every detail. The swell of her breasts and the way the shirt and been pushed back past them. The pink of her nipples. The black slash of runes across her chest. The memosyne one she had shown Tessa when she'd first arrived, the parabatai rune that held her to Jemma. Others that Tessa didn't know the names of. A scar from her shoulder to her collarbone. White and healed but shinier than the skin around it. 

She reached out her hand and then hesitated. Jemma's hands were on Gwen's waist, ready to go lower but they'd both paused to watch Tessa. Whatever they saw - and Tessa couldn't guess what it was - made them both smile. Gwen's bravado flickered back to life like an ember burst back into flame. She grinned and leaned forward into Tessa's outstretched hand so one of her breasts brushed her finger tips. The skin was silk soft and Tessa's breathing stuttered. 

Jemma leaned in and whispered in her ear. She didn't understand it but she said it again slower, word by word, until Tessa repeated it, "Nǐ zhēn piàoliang."

Gwen grinned at her. 

"What did I say?"she asked. 

"You told me I was beautiful or maybe that you wanted to sell me a goat. Pronunciation matters in Chinese, you know," Gwen said with a laugh. 

"You are beautiful," Tessa said, "But I won't sell you my goat, I'm sure that you're a cheat and won't give me a good price." 

Gwen laughed. Tessa reached out and ran her fingers down Gwen's body. From her collarbone to the waist band of her trousers, down between her breasts. Lightly. Barely touching but Gwen leaned in seeking more contact. Tessa got bolder as she traced back up, her palm touching now, not just her finger tips.

"What else can I say?" she asked Jemma who was at her side, watching Gwen. Jemma gave her another series of syllables, whispered into her ear and repeated haltingly. 

Gwen grinned and did as she was told though Tessa didn't know what she'd asked for. She dropped the shirt back off her shoulders and then held it out. Tessa took it and added it to the pile on the chair. That little shiver of vulnerability was back in Gwen's eyes though she covered it with a smile. 

"If you want my trousers off, you have to do it yourself," Gwen told pointing at Tessa's nose. 

Jemma stood back, taking her hands off of Gwen and wrapping one arm around Tessa's back instead. Tessa's fingers itched but this time she didn't need to stop them from reaching for skin. She ran them over Gwen's body again and finally slid her palms down from Gwen's shoulders to her waist. Gwen sighed and dropped her head back. She arched her back just a little, pushing her breasts into Tessa's hands. She paused and squeezed, lifting them, feeling their weight and the way they moved. 

Gwen sighed again and Tessa saw Jemma reach out a hand and link their fingers together. Tessa finally got a hold of the waist band of the trousers and undid the buttons to pull them down. She hooked her fingers into all the fabric there and pulled down everything so Gwen was left standing naked except for a pair of boots and her hair falling around her shoulders. Tessa unlaced the boots and Gwen kicked those off as well. 

"Guòlái," Jemma said climbing up onto the bed and holding out a hand. Tessa didn't know the word but she did as she was told and crawled back into bed. Jemma pushed Gwen down on her back and then ran her hand down over Gwen's stomach and it came to rest between her thighs. Gwen spread her knees wide and reached out for Tessa to grab hold of. Tessa let herself be drawn in and held tight to her side. 

Jemma did something with her hand that made Gwen drop her head back and smile. She did something else that made her fingers tighten in Tessa's nightgown and her eyes squeeze shut. Tessa leaned up to see. Jemma's fingers were circling and massaging but she couldn't make out any more detail before Gwen pulled her back down and pressed their faces together. 

"Demanding, aren't you?" Tessa said before she pressed a kiss to Gwen's cheek. 

"Wait until she does it to you, then you can mock me if you can still talk," Gwen said. It might have sounded threatening but her voice was breathy and her eyes were shut. Tessa reached for her breasts and massaged them as she let Gwen hold her where she wanted. Gwen kissed her over and over. Needy but gentle. Sometimes Jemma would make her gasp and each time, Tessa would kiss her.

Tessa felt her shift and push her knees wider. She ran her hand down Gwen's body to where Jemma's was and Jemma put her fingers against wet hot skin and told her to rub in slow circles. Gwen swore and buried her face more tightly against Tessa's neck as she did what she was told. Jemma's fingers slid into Gwen's body disappearing from view and Gwen sighed again and pulled Tessa back in where she couldn't see what Jemma was doing. 

Whatever it was, it was having a stronger effect. 

"Harder, please Tess, harder," Gwen said and she was moving her hips against their hands. Tessa rubbed harder and she felt it when Jemma sped up. Gwen held her tighter and groaned. Then her hips twisted. Tessa lost the spot where her fingers had been but Jemma didn't stop until Gwen cried out and pulled away from her. 

Gwen collapsed into Tessa, holding her around the waist and breathing against her neck. When Jemma got closer, Gwen rolled into her and pulled her down for a kiss. It was greedy and demanding. Nothing like the kisses Tessa had gotten before. Jemma laughed softly but never turned her away. 

"On your back, Gray," Gwen said and the bravado had all its edges sanded off until it sounded soft and pleading. 

The thought crossed Tessa's mind as she pulled her nightgown off that she should have hesitated. A little voice whispered that this was not something she was supposed to do. She wasn't supposed to so much as think of this. She certainly wasn't supposed to want it. But she did. She wanted. She wanted more than any reminder of propriety could ever over balance. Desire ran through her like blood. She wanted to be touched and held. She wanted to be a part of the laughter and the secret conversations in languages that no one else spoke. She wanted Jemma to look at her like that every day for the rest of her life. 

Jemma was the only one still dressed and Tessa tugged at her nightgown, undoing buttons but waiting until Jemma took it off herself. Jemma didn't disappoint. She stripped it off and lay back down with Tessa. Skin on skin and it felt like relief, like she had been starving all her life and was finally being fed. Gwen was petting her. Running her hand down the same lines that Tessa had traced on her body earlier but she was bolder. Stroking and exploring and squeezing.

A kiss on Tessa's throat, then another lower and another. A line of them out to her shoulder and then down across one breast and then the other. Gentle. Careful. Soft. Wonderful. Gwen kissed down across Tessa's stomach and then pushed her knees apart. Self consciousness rolled through her as she looked down at Gwen's face. No one had ever looked at her there and it made her blush. Gwen pressed a kiss to each of her knees and then placed a long line of kisses up the insides of her thighs. 

"It doesn't hurt, right?" Tessa asked suddenly. She turned to Jemma to ask. 

“Did it look like it hurt?” Gwen asked. 

“No,” Tessa said, “But I’ve always heard that it hurts.” 

“It’s different with a man,” Gwen said, “I swear to you, that I won’t hurt you. If you don’t like it, tell me and I will stop. It won’t hurt.” 

Tessa looked back to Jemma who nodded and she lay back down. If there was someone she was willing to trust in this city, in this entire country, it was these two women. She spread her knees and tried to relax her muscles. She looked up at Jemma and reached out to touch her. She was even paler than Gwen and it made her runes stand out like wounds on her skin. Tessa rubbed her hands over them though she knew they didn’t cause any pain once they were drawn. Jemma looked at her with soft eyes. 

Gwen went from kisses on her thighs and her stomach to kissing her between her legs. She jumped. She hadn’t been expecting that. Not there. She was expecting a hand, like Jemma had done. She looked down at Gwen who had pulled back as soon as she had jumped and now looked up at her with wide eyes. 

“You don’t like that?” Gwen asked. 

“I don’t know, do it again,” Tessa said. 

This time she watched as Gwen’s head dipped down and then she pressed a kiss there. Tessa felt that press of lips all over her body. Jemma reached down and stroked Gwen’s hair back from her face and Gwen smiled again and kissed her again, this time more than a press of lips. Wetter, harder. Tessa pushed her knees wider and let herself relax. It didn’t hurt and she didn’t want Gwen to look nervous again. 

Gwen got bolder but Jemma pulled Tessa’s attention. She caught Tessa’s face in her hand and pushed it back so she could kiss Tessa’s throat. Long wet lines. Tongue and a graze of teeth that sent fire racing down her nerves. 

Gwen pulled her attention back by going from long slow strokes of her tongue to an assault. Still soft flat tongue but faster and then harder. Tessa’s attempts at staying relaxed fell apart. The muscles up and down her thighs tensed and across her stomach everything tied itself up into knots. Gwen didn’t stop but she caught Tessa’s hips and pushed them back down where she wanted them. 

A moan. 

It took Tessa a moment to realize that she had made it. Jemma was still there, sucking at her throat as Gwen sucked at things she didn’t have names for. She moaned again and in a moment of clarity, she felt Gwen smile against her before doing it again. She made a sound that was half gasp and half cry. Her body was thrumming and tightening. It was like being wound up too tight. Desire had become need but she didn’t know what she could possibly want that would be more than this. Nothing could be better than this. 

Until it happened. The too tight feeling became more than she could bear. She started to twist away from Gwen’s mouth but Gwen was too strong for her to escape. She gasped and cried out. Not words. She had forgotten any words she had ever known. Gwen didn’t stop. Tremours ran through her body like lines of electricity. Not pain but as unavoidable as pain, as inescapable. She twisted and finally found the words to plead. Gwen stopped and Tessa was shuddering. 

Gwen climbed up to press her body in and that soothed the ragged edges of Tessa’s consciousness. Jemma kissed Gwen for a long time before they fell in around Tessa to rub her back and whisper in her ear. She relaxed again. Jemma was there in front of her smiling at her. Gwen was leaning on her shoulder like she was a drunk and Tessa was the bar. Never had she had so much skin pressed against hers and she would have happily stayed there forever. 

"That was nice," Tessa said. 

  
It had eased. In the aftermath, the seething storm where every nerve in her body had lit up had relaxed into a lethargy. She cuddled into any bit of touch and for the first time in her life, really understood why cats purred. If it was an option, she would have. She was made up of soft and contented fragments of herself that were only slowly gathering back together.

"Just nice?" Gwen said and Tessa ignored the tone of offense in her voice. She rolled over and pulled Gwen in close. Tessa pressed her face against the parabatai rune on her chest. 

"Nice is good but tell me what you want to hear and I'll tell you that," Tessa said. 

"Try, ‘Gwendolyn Herondale, you are the greatest lover I have ever had,’ that's a better start than nice," Gwen said. 

"I've never had a lover before," Tessa said. 

"So it is objectively true," Gwen said. 

"If you had gnawed on my shoulder and spanked my bottom and run off, it would still be true," Tessa said. 

"Is that what lovers do in America? Is your entire country mad?" Gwen asked. 

"Never had an American lover, but that doesn't qualify you as great," Tessa giggled. It had been great but Gwen's defensiveness struck her as incredibly funny in her fuzzy state. She leaned back and pulled Gwen down to kiss before she muttered, "But it was certainly nice." 

Jemma laughed as Gwen bristled. 

She rolled Tessa back onto her back and this time she did use her hand. She kept one hand in Tessa's hair, not pulling but tight enough that she couldn't move without it pulling. Her other hand slid down and between Tessa's legs.

Tessa held her gaze. It didn't even occur to her ask to be let up. She spread her knees again and tilted her face up for a kiss. Gwen pulled back so their mouths didn't touch though she didn't break the intensity of the stare. 

Gwen's fingers were stronger than her mouth had been or maybe Tessa's body just hadn't had enough time to relax. She gasped at the first touch and Gwen pulled a moan out of her as easily. Her fingers teased and coaxed. Tessa hadn't ever been quite so aware of that part of her body until someone else's hand was tracing over the folds of it. 

She groped for Jemma without looking. She wasn't willing to turn away from the way that Gwen was looking at her. She stroked Jemma's thigh and tugged her closer. Jemma lay down beside her and tossed one of her legs over Tessa's. It pinned her more completely to the mattress but it also gave her room to explore Jemma's body as Gwen stroked hers. 

"Shush. You aren't good at being quiet," Gwen said when Tessa let out a soft cry. 

Tessa tried to bite back another one and it came out a strangled gasp which made Gwen smile and do it again. Two fingers back and forth over the same spot, fast and hard. Tessa bit her lip and kept the noise she made to the back of her throat. She twisted as the release built. Gwen pulled her hand away and she twisted her hips against nothing for a moment of utter confusion. 

"Shush, we have not gotten caught at this for years," Gwen said. 

"Don't stop there," Tessa said. 

"It is rather better than nice, isn't it?" Gwen teased. 

"It's wonderful, please don't stop," Tessa said. 

"Wonderful, I accept wonderful," Gwen said. 

"Please," Tessa said. 

"I think we've left Jemma out for too long, you're far too distracted to be doing a proper job," Gwen said. 

"Gwen," Tessa knew her voice was almost a whine.

"You're teasing her," Jemma said. 

"I am, that's true," Gwen said with a smile. 

Tessa pulled away from Gwen who let go of her hair as she moved away. She at up in the bed, straddling one of Jemma's thighs and forgot to be self conscious about how naked she was until Jemma ran her hand up her stomach and sat up to take her breasts in hand. Tessa gasped but snapped her mouth shut before she could make any more noise. 

Gwen sat up with her but whatever teasing thing she had planned to say next fell away as she watched Jemma close her mouth over Tessa's nipple. She stared as Jemma sucked. Tessa tried to stay quiet but a graze of teeth pulled a gasp from her. 

“We’re going to need to teach her to be quieter,” Gwen laughed in her ear. Gwen had sat up with her and was leaning in so their bodies were pressed together. Gwen’s skin was hot and soft and Tessa cuddled in against her. Gwen traced the lines of Jemma’s face and played with her hair which made her smile but didn’t make her stop. She licked and nuzzled and sucked hard enough that when she moved on, Tessa could see that she had left marks. 

When she did pause, she looked up from between Tessa’s breasts at Gwen. 

“We need to find someplace where no one will find us and see how loud she can be,” Jemma said.

Gwen giggled in Tessa’s ear. 

Gwen pulled Jemma down into the bed and laid her out on her back. She laid down close to her so they were nose to nose. For a moment, they just watched each other and Tessa might as well have been on the dark side of the moon. For a moment, they needed each other far more than either of them needed her. 

But the moment was just a moment. 

Gwen was curled close around Jemma, holding her down. It was nearly identical to the position that Jemma had held Tessa in when Gwen had been between her legs. She laid down where Gwen had been, flat on her stomach. Her own body was still tight and too warm and on the edge of the release that Gwen had refused her.  She pressed her hips down into the mattress but tried to ignore the part of her that wanted to plead and demand. 

She touched Jemma's thigh and got a gasp. She pulled Jemma's attention away from Gwen with just her palm against the warm skin above her knee. Tessa held that gaze and waited to be told she was doing something wrong. Jemma's mouth fell open, just a little and she didn't offer any advice. Tessa ran her hands higher. She was warm and delicate. Even though Tessa knew that Jemma was easily stronger than her, she felt delicate laid out like this. 

Gwen said something in Welsh and Tessa looked at her. 

"Don't let me stop you," she said. 

"Are you swearing?" Jemma asked. 

"Yes," Gwen said. 

"Don't swear at Tessa," Jemma said but she was smiling softly. Tessa's hands had come to rest at the very top of her thighs, just before she touched flushed wet skin. 

"Have you seen her? She's all innocent and tentative and she's lying there between your legs with that look on her face. Blushing but not at all repentant," Gwen said waving a hand in Tessa's direction before saying in English, "Bloody fucking hell."

"You are not a docker, you are capable of being a little more civilized," Jemma said. 

In response, Gwen swore in Welsh again, or maybe it was an endearment. Tessa didn't know the language well enough to even guess. Gwen kissed Jemma's temple and reached down to run her fingers through  Tessa's hair with that tilted grin on her face. Her hand pulled Tessa closer. It was gentle, almost accidental, but Tessa took it as encouragement and leaned forward to touch Jemma not with her fingers but with her lips. 

She pressed a chaste kiss against the dark pink skin below the little thatch of silver hair. Jemma shifted and it wasn't quite a moan but the sigh made Tessa's heart beat faster. She licked. Just a taste with the tip of her tongue and then again. She wasn't sure how to translate her memories of what it had felt like into actions. Gwen had ran her tongue up and down in long licks and at leas that she could do. 

"Suck harder," Gwen said. 

Her fingers were still in Tessa's hair and Tessa tried to find the right place to be. Jemma was quiet but not still. Soft sighs and shifting hips. Her ankles sat crossed on Tessa's back. The rest of the world was gone. Even Gwen was on the edges of her consciousness. Everything was the heat and the smell and the taste of Jemma. It wasn't a taste she could put into words but it was everywhere. 

"Higher than that," Jemma said. 

Tessa knew when she had landed on the right place because Jemma gasped and pushed her hips up. Tessa started to pull back in surprise but Gwen's hand was in her hair and it kept her face buried against Jemma's body. She sucked again. Jemma pushed into her and Gwen still didn't let go of her hair. She was held in place and she didn't care. She sucked and nuzzled. Once she knew where it was, it was easy to find it again. Long licks that ended in sharp suction.

When Jemma came, she came hard. Arching and gasping but still nearly silent. Gwen held her down with one hand and kept Tessa in place with the other. She didn't stop. She sucked and lapped as Jemma twisted. Jemma was strong enough that Tessa couldn't have held her down but she wasn't trying to get away. When she finally did, squirming and twisting hard out of the hold Gwen had on her and Tessa's hands curled around her thighs, Tessa came up gasping. 

Gwen didn't let go of her hair. She pulled her up over Jemma who was flushed and shaky and breathing like she'd run a marathon. Gwen kissed her. Kissed her hard. Her tongue pushed into Tessa's mouth and those fingers were tight in her hair. She licked the taste of Jemma off her lips before releasing her. 

Tessa found a space on Jemma's other side and lay down with as much of their bodies touching as she could manage. She had liked the aftermath of the release as much as the release itself. She had liked feeling surrounded and protected and warm and she wanted Jemma to have that same feeling. Jemma linked her fingers with Tessa's as she kissed Gwen again. Tessa put her head on Jemma's shoulder and just watched. 

She liked the way their mouths moved together, the way Jemma seemed brighter and Gwen seemed softer when they were together like they could somehow borrow one another's best qualities like pretty dresses. Gwen could wear Jemma's depthless kindness and Jemma could wear Gwen's fierce anger and they both somehow fit. 

Gwen didn't break away from Jemma but she rolled her closer to Tessa and reached over her. Her hand found it's way between Tessa's legs. Tessa gasped. She was lying on her side with her chest pressed against Jemma's back and she wasn't willing to pull away but she spread her legs as best she could. Gwen pulled one of her knees up over Jemma's and that gave her enough room to work. 

Tessa's body wasn't hovering on the edge of release any longer but it wasn't far away. Gwen rubbed and teased but her mouth was on Jemma's as she did it. Tessa tightened her hold. Her one hand was twisted in a pillow by her head and her other was held by Jemma who squeezed back. 

"Make her scream," Jemma whispered into Gwen's mouth. 

Gwen's fingers slipped inside her. Tessa made a little noise of surprise. She was already too hot and too needy and the feeling of someone else inside her was exhilarating. She would have expected it to be terrifying but it wasn't. Gwen's fingers slid in and out and Tessa started to relax. This wasn't what she had expected but it was so very good. She pressed her face against Jemma's back and tried to twist her hips to let Gwen reach more easily. 

Gwen's fingers found a place inside her that made her gasp and Gwen laughed softly, "There it is."

 Before Tessa could ask what it was, Gwen's fingers were pushing hard against it. She had sunk two fingers into Tessa's body as far as she could and was pressing up towards Tessa's stomach. Gwen was relentless. Hard and fast and Tessa fell apart quietly before the release hit. It shook through her from Gwen's fingers through ever nerve in her body. 

She gasped and then cried out. Jemma had asked for her to scream and she did. Gwen didn't stop her this time and instead held her at that point of release long enough that the world fell apart around her. She wasn't anything or anyone anymore. She was made up of sensation. Jemma in her arms. Gwen's hand between her legs. Cotton sheets and soft edges and rough hands. 

Gwen let her down slowly and she pressed her thighs together and snuggled into the curve of Jemma's body as she came back to herself. Gwen push her wet fingers into Tessa's mouth and Tessa sucked on them. She didn't even stop to consider that the taste on her tongue was her own body. 

"Can we keep her?" Gwen asked but the sound was still far away. 

"She's not a stray kitten," Jemma said. 

"Please?" Gwen said. 

"I'll keep her as long as she wants to be kept," Jemma said. 

"A diplomatic answer," Gwen chuckled.

Someone stroked Tessa's cheek. She didn't open her eyes. She pulled Jemma closer and pressed her face up into the touch. Gwen laughed and scratched behind her ears. 

"Good kitty," she said. 

"Shut up and come closer," Tessa muttered. 

She fell asleep curled around Jemma. Gwen reached over and played with Tessa's hair or pet her stomach or her hip and she snuggled in and gave up on every other care. For at least a little while, she let herself forget how many things had gone wrong in her life. She didn't think of herself so much as a stray kitten as an abandoned lion. She had strange powers, she wasn't quite human but she had these two people. 

They were hers to protect. 

In the dark, after they had both fallen asleep, she found that all her doubts had fallen quiet. All those little voices that told her what was acceptable had disappeared. She fumbled a hand along Jemma's hip and Gwen's stomach. Once she was sure they were both deeply asleep, she murmured, "I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> I dare you to go translate the Welsh. :)


End file.
